When That Co-Worker Relationship Isn’t So Great
Would you look what happened here? We’ve made it to June;
bless the Lord! Welcome Chosen friends!
I was told I wasn’t quite successful in making the last
article not as long. *tears*. So
let’s jump right into this one. Throughout our discussion I will make reference
to a particular situation I had that’s applicable.
All relationships don’t go as smoothly as we had them
planned in our minds at inception; assuming that we don’t plan on having any
hostile relationships. Speaking specifically about work relations, sometimes tension runs as high as JPS power
cables. This is certainly unhealthy; after all, most of us spend most of our
lives at work. Great, if majority of our work relationships aren’t like this
but what do we do when we find ourselves caught up between the poles of these
JPS cables with a co-worker?
(Courtesy of: inc.com)
I’ll share with you 8 things which I did and now recommend
in such a situation:
1.
Perform a
Self-Assessment
Could I be the problem? In my situation,
the relationship seemed mutually aversive; however, it did not start out that
way. I did not set out for it to be that way; I believe I reacted to how I felt
I was being treated. Still, I decided to assess my role in this situation and found
that even if I was only reacting I was ramping up the voltage.
Romans
12:18 “If is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with
everyone.”
2.
Pray and Read
the Bible
Friends, this situation actually started
before I became a Christian but I’m sure it’s not hard to see that this can
happen to a Christian or non-Christian person. So even before coming to
Christendom, I would practice prayer and Bible reading. And I prayed about this
situation for God to guide me and I also prayed for the person. I would also
encourage you to ask God for forgiveness for any wrongs you may have done in
the situation.
Luke
6:27-28 “But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them
which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully
use you.”
3.
Attempt
to Understand
It might sound ridiculous but try to
understand both the person and the reason they may be behaving that way. I had
to ask myself, what could influence this person to behave this way towards me. Regardless
of how long the situation has been in effect; the person may be going through a
difficult period of their life or they just don’t know any better. It could be
that the person just has a hard time accepting you for whatever reason. None of
these could be the case but it still does help to approach the situation with
an open mind.
Matthew
7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for
this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
4.
Show Care
Maybe I should say to care in the first
place then show care. In attempting to mend the relationship we should display
that we care to the person. I was apprehensive but occasionally I genuinely
asked how they were doing. Theodore Roosevelt said “Nobody cares how much you
know, until they know how much you care. “
Romans
12:20 “…If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something
to drink…”
5.
Seek
Advice from Godly Persons
Sometimes when we are in a particular
situation, we can’t see the best way out so it’s wise to seek advice. It’s
recommended that this advice come from Godly persons. I consulted with a few of
my friends about my situation and got good advice.
Proverbs
12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto
counsel is wise”.
6.
Advise
Them of the Issue
Chances are the person is already aware of
the situation but first, approach them with some sort of positive stroking.
There must be something good you can find about the person. After you’ve
identified a particular thing, let them know that you like that. Then gently
ease into telling them of the challenge you experience with them. This is
something you may want to practise either with someone else or in a mirror
before you approach the person. They may not accept it the way you intended but
it still needs to be done. In my situation, I had to go through this series a
few times before the person was willing to really listen to what I was saying.
And when they did, they agreed.
Proverbs
24:17 “Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad
when he stumbleth”
7.
Work to
Resolve
Ideally this should be mutual but if the
person does not accept that there is an issue and wants to resolve it, that
will make coming to a resolution harder but you still need to try. Since my
co-worker did accept and also wanted to resolve the situation, that made it
less difficult. A major change didn’t happen right away for me but there were
smaller changes which made my situation more bearable. We actually revisited a
similar type of discussion a few times over a period.
Ephesians
4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even
as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you”.
8.
Maintain
Good Relations
After you have finally gotten to a good
place, hopefully, continue to service that relationship as with any other. If
you do not, it’s likely that those cables surrounding the relationship will get
damaged and become dangerous. Maintaining good relations is something that I practised in my situation. Things weren’t always perfect but I believe the precedence
that we set helped a lot.
1 Peter
4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of
sins”.
There you have it friends, that’s the strategy I used to
deal with a difficult co-worker relationship. This isn’t quite limited to that
type of relationship; it could be a schoolmate, a family member or whatever the
case may be for you. I hope you can find success in taking this approach to get
through a difficult relationship. Until next time Chosen, ciao!
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Great read....While people are the greatest assets, relationships can definitely be challenging...thanks for the tips...I would also add invite them to share how they feel and listen listen listen...do not interject...this takes lots of practice
ReplyDeleteThanks Sis. Great addition. Listening is a skill we all need to develop 👂
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